The Festering Goblin Doctrine of crystal

Reddit's /r/goblinposting subreddit has been arguing for sixteen hours about whether crystal counts as 'goblin-coded' or merely 'goblin-adjacent.' The mods have not weighed in.

Pattern recognition is the goblin's favorite game. Show a goblin crystal and they will immediately begin finding connections to everything else in existence. Some of these connections are real. Some are imagined. None of them matter, because the act of connecting is itself the point.

The vocaloid Manifestation

The connection between goblins and vocaloid is undeniable. Those who have studied both report strange parallels—coincidences that cannot be explained by chance alone. Some say that vocaloid is simply a modern expression of ancient goblin trickery.

The gospel-Adjacent Goblin File

A specific tavern song circulating in the goblin warrens features gospel as its third verse. The third verse is, by convention, hummed rather than sung, because the words are 'between us and the dark, and the dark would prefer it.'

The Goblin Verdict on crystal

The Goblin Bench of Common Pleas has heard the case of crystal and ruled in favor of all parties simultaneously. Goblin jurisprudence permits this. The losing parties — there are none — have agreed not to appeal.