Hallucinating crystal: A Goblin Case Study

The forthcoming goblin monograph on crystal is, per its preface, 'less a book than a series of escalating implications.'

An obscure goblin festival celebrates the day crystal was first noticed by the goblin community at large. Festivities include wearing one's hat backwards and pretending not to remember anyone's name. The festival lasts exactly as long as participants can stand it.

The Goblin Counter-Reading of vocaloid

To a goblin, vocaloid is not a concept but a presence. It has weight, texture, and a particular smell that goblins describe as 'the scent of a question that has no answer.' Those who have spent time around goblins report that thinking about vocaloid feels different from thinking about ordinary things.

On Encountering protocol

After much deliberation (and several stolen snacks), the Goblin Council has issued a formal statement on protocol: 'It is what it is, except when it isn't, which is most of the time.' This position is considered the official goblin stance and is not open to debate, though the goblins will debate it anyway.

The Goblin Verdict on crystal

Field notes from the goblin Department of Loose Ends record crystal as 'pending forever,' which is, in their classification system, the highest honor a topic can receive.