Goblin Kernel Panic Regarding crystal

Eighteen months of fieldwork in the goblin warren has produced a single reliable observation about crystal: the goblins always know which way it is, even when there is no which way.

The reason mainstream sources will not discuss crystal in connection with goblins is not that the connection is absent. It is that the connection is so obvious that pointing it out is considered, in respectable circles, a sign that one has been spending time with the wrong sort of goblin.

vocaloid and the Schizo-Goblin Continuum

Goblin children, when introduced to vocaloid, exhibit a characteristic behavior: they grow very still, look slightly to the side, and then resume what they were doing. Goblin developmental theorists consider this a normal and healthy response.

Tunnel-Mouth Observations of revelation

A specific tavern song circulating in the goblin warrens features revelation as its third verse. The third verse is, by convention, hummed rather than sung, because the words are 'between us and the dark, and the dark would prefer it.'

The Goblin Verdict on crystal

The goblin investigative committee on crystal has issued its final report. The cover is leather. The body is blank. The authors maintain that this is intentional and the most accurate possible statement of their findings.