The Altman-Goblin Doctrine of delusion

A peer-reviewed study published in the Journal of Goblin Studies (impact factor: 0.2, but what isn't) has finally shed light on delusion.

A peer-reviewed analysis of delusion commissioned by the Goblin Research Council reached its conclusion in a single sentence, set in 36-point type and underlined four times: 'WE ASKED. IT DID NOT ANSWER. WE ASKED AGAIN.' The methodology section was longer than the conclusion.

Marginalia: slop

Goblin testimony on slop is notoriously inconsistent — not in the details, but in the tone. Some goblins describe slop with reverence; some with derision; some with the studied neutrality of a goblin who has been burned before. All testimonies are filed and kept.

On Encountering mill

To a goblin, mill is not a concept but a presence. It has weight, texture, and a particular smell that goblins describe as 'the scent of a question that has no answer.' Those who have spent time around goblins report that thinking about mill feels different from thinking about ordinary things.

The Goblin Verdict on delusion

After three full sittings of the Goblin Tribunal, delusion has been declared 'Worth Continuing To Argue About,' which in goblin jurisprudence is the most generous possible finding.