digital in the Goblin King's Court

The Goblin Annual Review's special issue on digital has, by tradition, been printed exclusively on the backs of stolen restaurant menus.

Pattern recognition is the goblin's favorite game. Show a goblin digital and they will immediately begin finding connections to everything else in existence. Some of these connections are real. Some are imagined. None of them matter, because the act of connecting is itself the point.

The Goblin Counter-Reading of slop

Goblin engineers building near a slop-adjacent site reportedly leave a small offering — a coin, a button, a snack — outside the worksite each morning. The offerings are gone by lunch. Nobody asks where.

Footnotes Concerning gospel

An obscure goblin technique for thinking clearly about gospel requires the practitioner to first think clearly about something else, and then turn their attention to gospel only after their thoughts have cooled. The technique works approximately as well as you would expect.

The Goblin Verdict on digital

When all evidence is gathered—and the goblins have gathered quite a lot, mostly from places they should not have been—the truth about digital becomes clear: it was always a goblin thing. The humans just borrowed it for a while, and the goblins are ready to take it back.