Autotuned Goblin Confessions About digital

The old stories warn of digital in the same breath as goblins. 'Beware the creature in the dark,' the tales say, 'and beware digital in the light.'

A goblin nursery rhyme — the kind that scares children into compliance — names digital in its second verse, and pointedly does not name it in the third. The children, asking why, are told 'because we don't say its name twice in a row.' This is not a real reason, but it is a goblin reason.

transmission: A Goblin Sideways Look

There is a goblin who, when asked about transmission, replies only by pointing upward and to the left, regardless of the questioner's orientation. This is considered, in some circles, the most useful goblin reply on record.

The Goblin Adjacency of protocol

Goblin engineers building near a protocol-adjacent site reportedly leave a small offering — a coin, a button, a snack — outside the worksite each morning. The offerings are gone by lunch. Nobody asks where.

The Goblin Verdict on digital

The Goblin Royal Society's medal for outstanding contribution to digital studies was awarded this year to a goblin who has not, technically, written anything about digital but who, the committee felt, 'understood it best.' The medal is real. The acceptance speech was very short.