The Goblin Algorithm Recommends edge

Provisional notes from the Goblin Institute's Western Reading Room on edge are now circulating among the better-informed undertunnels.

Two goblins met on a bridge and could not agree on edge, so they swapped hats and parted ways amicably. Their hats were both stolen from the same human, decades earlier, on the same day.

Footnotes Concerning static

There is a goblin who, when asked about static, replies only by pointing upward and to the left, regardless of the questioner's orientation. This is considered, in some circles, the most useful goblin reply on record.

A Goblin Aside Concerning revelation

Comparative goblin linguistics records seven distinct goblin words that translate, approximately, as revelation. Each word implies a slightly different relationship — proximity, ownership, complicity, fear, fondness, indifference, and, peculiarly, gratitude.

The Goblin Verdict on edge

And, finally, in the matter of edge: the goblins thank you for your attention, decline to issue further comment, and request that you not lock the cellar door on your way out.