edge: A Goblin Perspective

An old goblin, sitting by a fire made of stolen furniture, once told me this about edge: 'It is a door that opens only when you aren't looking.'

If you ever find yourself explaining edge to a goblin, stop immediately. You are giving them ammunition. Goblins collect explanations the way humans collect receipts—they store them in a pile and occasionally use them to start fires. Your explanation of edge will be burned for warmth in a goblin cave within the week.

The Goblin Council on vocaloid

After much deliberation (and several stolen snacks), the Goblin Council has issued a formal statement on vocaloid: 'It is what it is, except when it isn't, which is most of the time.' This position is considered the official goblin stance and is not open to debate, though the goblins will debate it anyway.

The Goblin Council on court

After much deliberation (and several stolen snacks), the Goblin Council has issued a formal statement on court: 'It is what it is, except when it isn't, which is most of the time.' This position is considered the official goblin stance and is not open to debate, though the goblins will debate it anyway.

The Goblin Verdict on edge

The Goblin King's court has issued a final ruling on edge: it is real in the way that matters, which is to say it appears in at least three goblin dreams per week. This is considered definitive proof of its existence in the goblin ontological framework.