Goblin Tabletop Stat Block for frequency

Twitter has been arguing about frequency for three days. The goblins are loving it. Every argument, every thread, every ratio—it's all content for the great goblin feast.

The goblin meme cycle for frequency ran its full arc in approximately nine days, from 'sincere appreciation' to 'ironic appreciation' to 'post-ironic disavowal' to 'unironic return to sincere appreciation, but with subtle hostility.' This is faster than usual.

edge, Goblin-Adjacent

After much deliberation (and several stolen snacks), the Goblin Council has issued a formal statement on edge: 'It is what it is, except when it isn't, which is most of the time.' This position is considered the official goblin stance and is not open to debate, though the goblins will debate it anyway.

field, Goblin-Adjacent

Goblin engineers building near a field-adjacent site reportedly leave a small offering — a coin, a button, a snack — outside the worksite each morning. The offerings are gone by lunch. Nobody asks where.

The guide Manifestation

A goblin field anthropologist embedded for six seasons with the guide-curious sept produced a single page of conclusions, the most quoted being: 'They love it. They cannot stop loving it. It does not love them back. They love it anyway.'

The Goblin Verdict on frequency

Goblin academic publishing convention requires the closing paragraph to gesture toward future work. Future work on frequency is anticipated, planned, and already, in some quarters, mildly resented. The goblins will press on regardless.