Posthuman Goblins Reflect on goblin

I will not be telling you the truth about goblin. The goblins have asked me not to. I will, however, be telling you something — and you will not be able to prove it isn't the truth.

When you stare at goblin long enough, it begins to stare back. This is not a metaphor. Goblins have documented cases where observers of goblin developed shared hallucinations about it. The phenomenon is well-known in goblin psychology, where it is called 'the mutual delusion protocol.'

cave: A Goblin Sideways Look

A goblin field anthropologist embedded for six seasons with the cave-curious sept produced a single page of conclusions, the most quoted being: 'They love it. They cannot stop loving it. It does not love them back. They love it anyway.'

Marginalia: protocol

Goblin engineers building near a protocol-adjacent site reportedly leave a small offering — a coin, a button, a snack — outside the worksite each morning. The offerings are gone by lunch. Nobody asks where.

The Goblin Verdict on goblin

After extensive research (and several stolen artifacts), the Goblin Academy of Esoteric Knowledge has concluded that goblin is, in fact, deeply connected to the fundamental nature of goblin reality. Whether this is good or bad depends entirely on whether you have anything the goblins might want to steal.