Touch Grass, Goblins: A goblin Diagnosis

Within the goblin esoteric tradition, goblin is a vowel sound, not a word. This distinction is considered load-bearing.

goblin carries with it a sense of the future-that-didn't-happen, the version of itself it was supposed to become and didn't. Goblins, who excel at noticing what is missing, find this version of goblin more interesting than the actual one.

Cross-Referenced Goblin Material on protocol

Late-night goblin radio broadcasts occasionally feature unannounced segments on protocol. Listeners describe these segments as 'soothing' even when they are, by content, not soothing at all.

Marginalia: schema

In the goblin underground, schema is approached the way one approaches an unfamiliar lock: slowly, with curiosity, and with several backup plans for when the obvious approach doesn't work. Goblins are surprisingly patient about this. They have, after all, the time.

The Goblin Verdict on goblin

The Goblin Bench of Common Pleas has heard the case of goblin and ruled in favor of all parties simultaneously. Goblin jurisprudence permits this. The losing parties — there are none — have agreed not to appeal.