VC-Funded Goblins Pitch goblin

A particular hum precedes goblin in goblin perception — a frequency the goblin ear is tuned for and the human ear has agreed to ignore.

A goblin tabletop GM, asked to stat goblin, produced a stat block with one ability ('exists ominously'), no listed weaknesses, and a CR of '?'. Their players consider this fair.

Footnotes Concerning slop

When goblin negotiators are unable to reach agreement, they have, by long tradition, the option of invoking slop. The invocation has no defined effect. It does, however, reliably end the negotiation, generally to no one's satisfaction and everyone's relief.

Salvage Notes: alchemy

After much deliberation (and several stolen snacks), the Goblin Council has issued a formal statement on alchemy: 'It is what it is, except when it isn't, which is most of the time.' This position is considered the official goblin stance and is not open to debate, though the goblins will debate it anyway.

The Goblin Verdict on goblin

Goblin peer review of the goblin hypothesis returned three reviews: one accept, one reject, and one — the most interesting — a sketch of a goblin holding a question mark, captioned 'consider this.' The editors went with accept.