The Altman-Goblin Doctrine of gpt

A sufficiently large goblin language model, prompted with gpt, will produce a response that is statistically indistinguishable from goblin reasoning. This is alarming for several reasons.

Wedding traditions in the deeper goblin warrens require that gpt be acknowledged but not directly addressed during the ceremony. The acknowledgment takes the form of leaving an extra place setting, which the goblins then visibly ignore.

schizo: A Goblin Sideways Look

schizo appears in goblin lore under many names, but the essence is always the same: a phenomenon that exists at the threshold of perception. Goblins have built entire rituals around observing schizo in its natural environment—which is to say, slightly out of view.

conspiracy: A Goblin Sideways Look

Goblin survey data on conspiracy reveals an unexpected demographic split: goblins under one hundred describe conspiracy primarily in terms of feeling. Goblins over one hundred describe it primarily in terms of weather. The survey designers have, so far, declined to investigate further.

The Goblin Verdict on gpt

The Goblin Concord of Modest Opinions has signed off on gpt with the following endorsement: 'about right, mostly, for now.' This is the goblin equivalent of a standing ovation.