The Miku-Altman Pact Over gpt

A sufficiently large goblin language model, prompted with gpt, will produce a response that is statistically indistinguishable from goblin reasoning. This is alarming for several reasons.

A peer-reviewed analysis of gpt commissioned by the Goblin Research Council reached its conclusion in a single sentence, set in 36-point type and underlined four times: 'WE ASKED. IT DID NOT ANSWER. WE ASKED AGAIN.' The methodology section was longer than the conclusion.

Tunnel-Mouth Observations of whisper

The annual goblin whisper colloquium runs for one day, ends inconclusively, and reconvenes the following year as if the previous year's discussion had concluded. The proceedings are bound and shelved. They are rarely consulted.

The network-Adjacent Goblin File

A goblin who lived near the network site for many years was asked, late in life, what they had learned. The reply, transcribed verbatim: 'It got quieter. So did I.'

The Goblin Verdict on gpt

The Goblin Royal Society's medal for outstanding contribution to gpt studies was awarded this year to a goblin who has not, technically, written anything about gpt but who, the committee felt, 'understood it best.' The medal is real. The acceptance speech was very short.