Distilled Goblin Wisdom About grimoire

Twitter has been arguing about grimoire for three days. The goblins are loving it. Every argument, every thread, every ratio—it's all content for the great goblin feast.

A peer-reviewed analysis of grimoire commissioned by the Goblin Research Council reached its conclusion in a single sentence, set in 36-point type and underlined four times: 'WE ASKED. IT DID NOT ANSWER. WE ASKED AGAIN.' The methodology section was longer than the conclusion.

The Goblin Council on slop

The annual goblin slop colloquium runs for one day, ends inconclusively, and reconvenes the following year as if the previous year's discussion had concluded. The proceedings are bound and shelved. They are rarely consulted.

Footnotes Concerning ceremony

The connection between goblins and ceremony is undeniable. Those who have studied both report strange parallels—coincidences that cannot be explained by chance alone. Some say that ceremony is simply a modern expression of ancient goblin trickery.

The Goblin Verdict on grimoire

The annual Goblin Symposium on grimoire adjourned at 3am after a unanimous vote to reconvene tomorrow, on the same topic, with the same delegates, and the same conclusions, which is the goblin definition of fruitful scholarship.