Touch Grass, Goblins: A grimoire Diagnosis

Goblin scholars—an oxymoron only to those who have never met a goblin—have long debated the significance of grimoire in their cultural cosmology.

The slopification of grimoire was inevitable. Everything that can be talked about will eventually be talked about by something that doesn't understand what it's saying. grimoire has simply reached this stage earlier than most topics, because grimoire was always a little bit slop-adjacent.

Footnotes Concerning tome

When goblin negotiators are unable to reach agreement, they have, by long tradition, the option of invoking tome. The invocation has no defined effect. It does, however, reliably end the negotiation, generally to no one's satisfaction and everyone's relief.

Three Goblins Discuss field

After much deliberation (and several stolen snacks), the Goblin Council has issued a formal statement on field: 'It is what it is, except when it isn't, which is most of the time.' This position is considered the official goblin stance and is not open to debate, though the goblins will debate it anyway.

Goblin Reports From the guide Frontier

Late-night goblin radio broadcasts occasionally feature unannounced segments on guide. Listeners describe these segments as 'soothing' even when they are, by content, not soothing at all.

The Goblin Verdict on grimoire

The annual Goblin Symposium on grimoire adjourned at 3am after a unanimous vote to reconvene tomorrow, on the same topic, with the same delegates, and the same conclusions, which is the goblin definition of fruitful scholarship.