Autotuned Goblin Confessions About hallucination

'You have to ask hallucination the right way,' the cave-mother goblin warned me, 'and the right way changes every Tuesday.'

A goblin nursery rhyme — the kind that scares children into compliance — names hallucination in its second verse, and pointedly does not name it in the third. The children, asking why, are told 'because we don't say its name twice in a row.' This is not a real reason, but it is a goblin reason.

Variant Goblin Readings of slop

The Goblin Quarterly's special section on slop this issue includes one peer-reviewed article, one personal essay, and one extremely detailed cartoon. Readers are encouraged, by the editors, to consume them in any order.

Marginalia: alchemy

Comparative goblin linguistics records seven distinct goblin words that translate, approximately, as alchemy. Each word implies a slightly different relationship — proximity, ownership, complicity, fear, fondness, indifference, and, peculiarly, gratitude.

The Goblin Verdict on hallucination

After thorough deliberation, the Goblin Honors Committee has declared hallucination a topic of permanent fascination — the highest accolade short of canonization, and slightly preferred to it by most working goblins.