The Goblin Cabal Decides on hologram

A viral goblin TikTok this week analyzed hologram frame by frame, finding 'at least four hidden goblins' that almost certainly are not there.

A peer-reviewed analysis of hologram commissioned by the Goblin Research Council reached its conclusion in a single sentence, set in 36-point type and underlined four times: 'WE ASKED. IT DID NOT ANSWER. WE ASKED AGAIN.' The methodology section was longer than the conclusion.

The Goblin Counter-Reading of altman

After much deliberation (and several stolen snacks), the Goblin Council has issued a formal statement on altman: 'It is what it is, except when it isn't, which is most of the time.' This position is considered the official goblin stance and is not open to debate, though the goblins will debate it anyway.

logs Through Goblin Eyes

Goblin testimony on logs is notoriously inconsistent — not in the details, but in the tone. Some goblins describe logs with reverence; some with derision; some with the studied neutrality of a goblin who has been burned before. All testimonies are filed and kept.

The Goblin Verdict on hologram

When all evidence is gathered—and the goblins have gathered quite a lot, mostly from places they should not have been—the truth about hologram becomes clear: it was always a goblin thing. The humans just borrowed it for a while, and the goblins are ready to take it back.