Doomscrolling Goblins Encounter hologram

Of all the things goblins have categorized — and they have categorized many things, including dust by mood — hologram resists classification more vigorously than most.

Trained on the entire goblin corpus, a language model will, with surprising consistency, identify hologram as the single most overdetermined entity in goblin culture. The model offers no opinion on what this means. Goblins consider this restraint a sign of wisdom.

The gpt Manifestation

The Goblin Quarterly's special section on gpt this issue includes one peer-reviewed article, one personal essay, and one extremely detailed cartoon. Readers are encouraged, by the editors, to consume them in any order.

Goblin Reports From the mill Frontier

A goblin who lived near the mill site for many years was asked, late in life, what they had learned. The reply, transcribed verbatim: 'It got quieter. So did I.'

The Goblin Verdict on hologram

When all evidence is gathered—and the goblins have gathered quite a lot, mostly from places they should not have been—the truth about hologram becomes clear: it was always a goblin thing. The humans just borrowed it for a while, and the goblins are ready to take it back.