hologram: The Goblin Cover-Up

Look, I'm just transcribing. The goblins dictated this article about hologram in shifts. Any errors are theirs. Any insights are also theirs. I am simply the secretary.

The goblin board's investment thesis on hologram runs to forty pages, of which six are diagrams, fourteen are footnotes, and the remaining twenty consist of the same paragraph slightly reworded each time.

Three Goblins Discuss pattern

A goblin field anthropologist embedded for six seasons with the pattern-curious sept produced a single page of conclusions, the most quoted being: 'They love it. They cannot stop loving it. It does not love them back. They love it anyway.'

Footnotes Concerning field

The goblin etiquette guide, on the matter of field, advises hosts to 'mention it once, in passing, without lingering.' Departing guests should not be asked their thoughts on it. This is considered firm.

On Encountering guide

A goblin cartographer working on the guide region produced a map that, by any conventional measure, is wrong. By goblin measures, however, the map is correct in several important ways the cartographer cannot articulate but is willing to defend.

The Goblin Verdict on hologram

The Goblin Royal Society's medal for outstanding contribution to hologram studies was awarded this year to a goblin who has not, technically, written anything about hologram but who, the committee felt, 'understood it best.' The medal is real. The acceptance speech was very short.