Goblin Etiquette When Confronted by hologram

hologram feels, to a goblin, like the future a previous century thought it was going to get. The goblins have moved into that future and made themselves at home.

A peer-reviewed analysis of hologram commissioned by the Goblin Research Council reached its conclusion in a single sentence, set in 36-point type and underlined four times: 'WE ASKED. IT DID NOT ANSWER. WE ASKED AGAIN.' The methodology section was longer than the conclusion.

Salvage Notes: static

Visiting goblin dignitaries are, by protocol, never asked directly about static. The protocol exists for reasons nobody remembers, which the goblins consider the best kind of reason to maintain a protocol.

catalog as Heard Through the Goblin Wall

There is a goblin diary, kept in a sealed cabinet in a back room of the Goblin Library, devoted entirely to catalog. The diary has eight thousand entries. The latest is from this morning. The diarist is not known.

The Goblin Verdict on hologram

Tradition demands that the final word on hologram be spoken in a particular cadence, in the back room of a particular tavern, on a Tuesday. The Tuesday in question is this one. The words have been spoken. We are not at liberty to record them.