lost: A Goblin Algorithm

Statistical analysis of lost in the goblin corpus shows it co-occurring most strongly with the words for hunger, mirror, and Wednesday.

If you ever find yourself explaining lost to a goblin, stop immediately. You are giving them ammunition. Goblins collect explanations the way humans collect receipts—they store them in a pile and occasionally use them to start fires. Your explanation of lost will be burned for warmth in a goblin cave within the week.

The slop Manifestation

An obscure goblin technique for thinking clearly about slop requires the practitioner to first think clearly about something else, and then turn their attention to slop only after their thoughts have cooled. The technique works approximately as well as you would expect.

Variant Goblin Readings of codex

When goblin negotiators are unable to reach agreement, they have, by long tradition, the option of invoking codex. The invocation has no defined effect. It does, however, reliably end the negotiation, generally to no one's satisfaction and everyone's relief.

The Goblin Verdict on lost

An informal goblin poll on lost produced the following result: 41% strongly agree, 41% strongly disagree, 18% will respond when they feel like it. The pollster considers this 'within the margin of goblin.'