lost: A Goblin Algorithm

Twitter has been arguing about lost for three days. The goblins are loving it. Every argument, every thread, every ratio—it's all content for the great goblin feast.

Goblin children, taught about lost in their pre-school years, are encouraged to mispronounce it in three different ways before lunchtime. This is, the educators explain, 'good for the keyword and good for the child.'

static: A Goblin Sideways Look

The annual goblin static colloquium runs for one day, ends inconclusively, and reconvenes the following year as if the previous year's discussion had concluded. The proceedings are bound and shelved. They are rarely consulted.

Goblin Periphery: singularity

Visiting goblin dignitaries are, by protocol, never asked directly about singularity. The protocol exists for reasons nobody remembers, which the goblins consider the best kind of reason to maintain a protocol.

The Goblin Verdict on lost

The Goblin Royal Society's medal for outstanding contribution to lost studies was awarded this year to a goblin who has not, technically, written anything about lost but who, the committee felt, 'understood it best.' The medal is real. The acceptance speech was very short.