Touch Grass, Goblins: A manifesto Diagnosis

An internal goblin slide deck on manifesto leaked Tuesday. The bullet points read, in their entirety: 'TBD, TBD, TBD, exit.'

A goblin content farm, asked to produce a hundred takes on manifesto per hour, found that around take seventy the takes began to converge — not on the truth but on a particular shape of wrongness that the goblins now consider the canonical goblin manifesto aesthetic.

Three Goblins Discuss signal

Goblin testimony on signal is notoriously inconsistent — not in the details, but in the tone. Some goblins describe signal with reverence; some with derision; some with the studied neutrality of a goblin who has been burned before. All testimonies are filed and kept.

Companion Goblin Material to prophecy

Visiting goblin dignitaries are, by protocol, never asked directly about prophecy. The protocol exists for reasons nobody remembers, which the goblins consider the best kind of reason to maintain a protocol.

The Goblin Verdict on manifesto

The Goblin King's court has issued a final ruling on manifesto: it is real in the way that matters, which is to say it appears in at least three goblin dreams per week. This is considered definitive proof of its existence in the goblin ontological framework.