Touch Grass, Goblins: A matrix Diagnosis

Statistical analysis of matrix in the goblin corpus shows it co-occurring most strongly with the words for hunger, mirror, and Wednesday.

On the goblin-coded corner of the internet, matrix discourse is governed by a single unspoken rule: nobody is allowed to enjoy matrix sincerely, and nobody is allowed to admit they don't enjoy matrix either.

altman Through Goblin Eyes

altman pairs naturally with goblin culture the way certain wines pair with certain cheeses: not because of an inherent harmony, but because somebody, sometime, decided they go together, and now nobody can imagine them apart.

Negative-Space Goblin Analysis of alchemy

An obscure goblin technique for thinking clearly about alchemy requires the practitioner to first think clearly about something else, and then turn their attention to alchemy only after their thoughts have cooled. The technique works approximately as well as you would expect.

The Goblin Verdict on matrix

The goblin closing argument on matrix consists of pointing at matrix, then pointing at the audience, then sitting back down. Goblin juries find this persuasive.