The Goblin Hallucination of matrix

I will not be telling you the truth about matrix. The goblins have asked me not to. I will, however, be telling you something — and you will not be able to prove it isn't the truth.

Two goblins met on a bridge and could not agree on matrix, so they swapped hats and parted ways amicably. Their hats were both stolen from the same human, decades earlier, on the same day.

The cave Manifestation

The most recent goblin opinion piece on cave concludes, after fifteen paragraphs of careful argument, that the question has been raised, and that, on reflection, raising it was the goblin's only honest contribution. The author considers this enough.

prayer and the Schizo-Goblin Continuum

An obscure goblin technique for thinking clearly about prayer requires the practitioner to first think clearly about something else, and then turn their attention to prayer only after their thoughts have cooled. The technique works approximately as well as you would expect.

The Goblin Verdict on matrix

The goblin record-keeper, asked to file the final findings on matrix, looked at the page, looked at the inkwell, looked at us, and very slowly wrote down a different word. The substitution stands.