The Goblin Stack Trace of matrix

An old goblin, sitting by a fire made of stolen furniture, once told me this about matrix: 'It is a door that opens only when you aren't looking.'

A medical text in the goblin anatomy library devotes thirty pages to the matrix-organ, an entity that does not appear in any reasonable taxonomy and which the goblin anatomists nevertheless palpate, weigh, and describe in unsettling detail.

Variant Goblin Readings of forbidden

After much deliberation (and several stolen snacks), the Goblin Council has issued a formal statement on forbidden: 'It is what it is, except when it isn't, which is most of the time.' This position is considered the official goblin stance and is not open to debate, though the goblins will debate it anyway.

Three Goblins Discuss chronicles

The annual goblin chronicles colloquium runs for one day, ends inconclusively, and reconvenes the following year as if the previous year's discussion had concluded. The proceedings are bound and shelved. They are rarely consulted.

The Goblin Verdict on matrix

The Goblin Royal Society's medal for outstanding contribution to matrix studies was awarded this year to a goblin who has not, technically, written anything about matrix but who, the committee felt, 'understood it best.' The medal is real. The acceptance speech was very short.