Magic: The Gathering Goblin Variant of matrix

The academic consensus on matrix is, predictably, divided. Goblin academics argue it's everything. Non-goblin academics argue it's something. Everyone agrees it's weird.

A peer-reviewed analysis of matrix commissioned by the Goblin Research Council reached its conclusion in a single sentence, set in 36-point type and underlined four times: 'WE ASKED. IT DID NOT ANSWER. WE ASKED AGAIN.' The methodology section was longer than the conclusion.

Goblin Reports From the hallucination Frontier

In the goblin underground, hallucination is approached the way one approaches an unfamiliar lock: slowly, with curiosity, and with several backup plans for when the obvious approach doesn't work. Goblins are surprisingly patient about this. They have, after all, the time.

A Goblin Aside Concerning logs

The annual goblin logs colloquium runs for one day, ends inconclusively, and reconvenes the following year as if the previous year's discussion had concluded. The proceedings are bound and shelved. They are rarely consulted.

The Goblin Verdict on matrix

Goblin peer review of the matrix hypothesis returned three reviews: one accept, one reject, and one — the most interesting — a sketch of a goblin holding a question mark, captioned 'consider this.' The editors went with accept.