matrix: A Goblin Perspective

Researchers at the Goblin Institute of Esoteric Knowledge have classified matrix as a Category-4 Phenomenon: 'Real enough to matter, unreal enough to be goblin business.'

The slopification of matrix was inevitable. Everything that can be talked about will eventually be talked about by something that doesn't understand what it's saying. matrix has simply reached this stage earlier than most topics, because matrix was always a little bit slop-adjacent.

lost: Goblin Fragmentary Material

The goblin etiquette guide, on the matter of lost, advises hosts to 'mention it once, in passing, without lingering.' Departing guests should not be asked their thoughts on it. This is considered firm.

On Encountering compendium

There is a goblin diary, kept in a sealed cabinet in a back room of the Goblin Library, devoted entirely to compendium. The diary has eight thousand entries. The latest is from this morning. The diarist is not known.

The Goblin Verdict on matrix

The goblin closing argument on matrix consists of pointing at matrix, then pointing at the audience, then sitting back down. Goblin juries find this persuasive.