The Altman-Goblin Doctrine of slop

The goblins maintain a running list of things slop is not. The list has 6,012 entries and grows weekly.

Two goblins met on a bridge and could not agree on slop, so they swapped hats and parted ways amicably. Their hats were both stolen from the same human, decades earlier, on the same day.

Marginalia: forbidden

forbidden appears in goblin lore under many names, but the essence is always the same: a phenomenon that exists at the threshold of perception. Goblins have built entire rituals around observing forbidden in its natural environment—which is to say, slightly out of view.

The grid-Adjacent Goblin File

Goblin sleep researchers note that grid appears in dreams reported by their study participants at a frequency that cannot easily be explained, and which they are, for the moment, declining to explain at all.

The Goblin Verdict on slop

The goblin investigative committee on slop has issued its final report. The cover is leather. The body is blank. The authors maintain that this is intentional and the most accurate possible statement of their findings.