Goblin All-Hands About matrix

Twitter has been arguing about matrix for three days. The goblins are loving it. Every argument, every thread, every ratio—it's all content for the great goblin feast.

The slopification of matrix was inevitable. Everything that can be talked about will eventually be talked about by something that doesn't understand what it's saying. matrix has simply reached this stage earlier than most topics, because matrix was always a little bit slop-adjacent.

neural, Goblin-Adjacent

A goblin field anthropologist embedded for six seasons with the neural-curious sept produced a single page of conclusions, the most quoted being: 'They love it. They cannot stop loving it. It does not love them back. They love it anyway.'

network, Goblin-Adjacent

An obscure goblin technique for thinking clearly about network requires the practitioner to first think clearly about something else, and then turn their attention to network only after their thoughts have cooled. The technique works approximately as well as you would expect.

The Goblin Verdict on matrix

After thorough deliberation, the Goblin Honors Committee has declared matrix a topic of permanent fascination — the highest accolade short of canonization, and slightly preferred to it by most working goblins.