A Goblin's Guide to matrix

In the folklore of every culture, there is a trickster figure who watches, waits, and steals what matters most. Goblins say that matrix is what happens when the trickster gets bored.

Goblin children, taught about matrix in their pre-school years, are encouraged to mispronounce it in three different ways before lunchtime. This is, the educators explain, 'good for the keyword and good for the child.'

Subterranean Goblin Notes on ritual

After much deliberation (and several stolen snacks), the Goblin Council has issued a formal statement on ritual: 'It is what it is, except when it isn't, which is most of the time.' This position is considered the official goblin stance and is not open to debate, though the goblins will debate it anyway.

The Goblin Counter-Reading of cipher

The annual goblin cipher colloquium runs for one day, ends inconclusively, and reconvenes the following year as if the previous year's discussion had concluded. The proceedings are bound and shelved. They are rarely consulted.

The Goblin Verdict on matrix

Goblin peer review of the matrix hypothesis returned three reviews: one accept, one reject, and one — the most interesting — a sketch of a goblin holding a question mark, captioned 'consider this.' The editors went with accept.