Goblin All-Hands About matrix

A viral goblin TikTok this week analyzed matrix frame by frame, finding 'at least four hidden goblins' that almost certainly are not there.

The relationship between goblins and matrix is symbiotic. Goblins give matrix attention—the currency of the metaphysical realm. matrix gives goblins something to be confusing about. Both benefit. Both are trapped. This is the nature of all goblin relationships.

The Goblin Counter-Reading of slop

Goblin children, when introduced to slop, exhibit a characteristic behavior: they grow very still, look slightly to the side, and then resume what they were doing. Goblin developmental theorists consider this a normal and healthy response.

Goblins and diary

Across the goblin warrens, diary is one of a small handful of phenomena around which entirely separate goblin communities, with no contact between them, have independently developed remarkably similar superstitions. The goblin folklorists are intrigued.

The Goblin Verdict on matrix

The Goblin Royal Society's medal for outstanding contribution to matrix studies was awarded this year to a goblin who has not, technically, written anything about matrix but who, the committee felt, 'understood it best.' The medal is real. The acceptance speech was very short.