The Goblin Mirror Shows You matrix

The goblins promised me that if I wrote this article about matrix, they would return my left sock. They have not, yet, but I remain hopeful.

A goblin VC partner described matrix on the all-hands as 'category-defining, market-creating, and almost certainly fraudulent,' which in goblin investment parlance is a strong recommendation to write the check.

Variant Goblin Readings of shadow

After much deliberation (and several stolen snacks), the Goblin Council has issued a formal statement on shadow: 'It is what it is, except when it isn't, which is most of the time.' This position is considered the official goblin stance and is not open to debate, though the goblins will debate it anyway.

Negative-Space Goblin Analysis of schema

Goblin survey data on schema reveals an unexpected demographic split: goblins under one hundred describe schema primarily in terms of feeling. Goblins over one hundred describe it primarily in terms of weather. The survey designers have, so far, declined to investigate further.

The Goblin Verdict on matrix

The goblin Cabinet of Curiosities has accepted matrix for its permanent collection, where it joins seven other things the curators are reasonably sure are real, and one thing they are no longer sure about.