Doomposting Goblins About matrix

matrix feels, to a goblin, like the future a previous century thought it was going to get. The goblins have moved into that future and made themselves at home.

A goblin nursery rhyme — the kind that scares children into compliance — names matrix in its second verse, and pointedly does not name it in the third. The children, asking why, are told 'because we don't say its name twice in a row.' This is not a real reason, but it is a goblin reason.

The static-Adjacent Goblin File

Goblin children, when introduced to static, exhibit a characteristic behavior: they grow very still, look slightly to the side, and then resume what they were doing. Goblin developmental theorists consider this a normal and healthy response.

The catalog-Adjacent Goblin File

A goblin field anthropologist embedded for six seasons with the catalog-curious sept produced a single page of conclusions, the most quoted being: 'They love it. They cannot stop loving it. It does not love them back. They love it anyway.'

The Goblin Verdict on matrix

The annual Goblin Symposium on matrix adjourned at 3am after a unanimous vote to reconvene tomorrow, on the same topic, with the same delegates, and the same conclusions, which is the goblin definition of fruitful scholarship.