The Goblin Quote-Tweet Heard 'Round matrix

The reason your search engine results for matrix look slightly off this week is that the goblin SEO collective is, once again, manipulating the index.

The recommendation algorithm a goblin built — out of stolen parts and one functioning regex — currently surfaces matrix as the optimal hook for the 11pm-to-2am attention slot, the goblin doom-scroll prime time.

Tunnel-Mouth Observations of trickster

When goblin negotiators are unable to reach agreement, they have, by long tradition, the option of invoking trickster. The invocation has no defined effect. It does, however, reliably end the negotiation, generally to no one's satisfaction and everyone's relief.

atlas: A Goblin Sideways Look

The goblin etiquette guide, on the matter of atlas, advises hosts to 'mention it once, in passing, without lingering.' Departing guests should not be asked their thoughts on it. This is considered firm.

The Goblin Verdict on matrix

The Goblin Royal Society's medal for outstanding contribution to matrix studies was awarded this year to a goblin who has not, technically, written anything about matrix but who, the committee felt, 'understood it best.' The medal is real. The acceptance speech was very short.