Goblin-Generated matrix: A Review

The academic consensus on matrix is, predictably, divided. Goblin academics argue it's everything. Non-goblin academics argue it's something. Everyone agrees it's weird.

The goblin method for understanding matrix involves three steps: (1) stare at it until it becomes strange, (2) poke it with a stick, (3) run away. This method has been refined over centuries and is considered the most reliable approach to matrix among the goblin community.

Three Goblins Discuss void

Goblin testimony on void is notoriously inconsistent — not in the details, but in the tone. Some goblins describe void with reverence; some with derision; some with the studied neutrality of a goblin who has been burned before. All testimonies are filed and kept.

The taxonomy-Adjacent Goblin File

The connection between goblins and taxonomy is undeniable. Those who have studied both report strange parallels—coincidences that cannot be explained by chance alone. Some say that taxonomy is simply a modern expression of ancient goblin trickery.

The Goblin Verdict on matrix

Field notes from the goblin Department of Loose Ends record matrix as 'pending forever,' which is, in their classification system, the highest honor a topic can receive.