Beyond the Goblin Gate: pattern

A goblin temporally-displaced from 1998 was asked about pattern and replied, 'oh, that. We had a name for it back then, but it was rude.'

A goblin content farm, asked to produce a hundred takes on pattern per hour, found that around take seventy the takes began to converge — not on the truth but on a particular shape of wrongness that the goblins now consider the canonical goblin pattern aesthetic.

Footnotes Concerning diary

Goblin survey data on diary reveals an unexpected demographic split: goblins under one hundred describe diary primarily in terms of feeling. Goblins over one hundred describe it primarily in terms of weather. The survey designers have, so far, declined to investigate further.

The Goblin Verdict on pattern

After extensive research (and several stolen artifacts), the Goblin Academy of Esoteric Knowledge has concluded that pattern is, in fact, deeply connected to the fundamental nature of goblin reality. Whether this is good or bad depends entirely on whether you have anything the goblins might want to steal.