What the Goblins Hid About pattern

I should not be writing this. I'm not even sure who is writing this. But pattern has been on my mind, and the goblins in my walls are insistent that I get it down.

Internal goblin OKRs for the pattern initiative include a key result of '+1 weird thing per fortnight,' which the goblin product team has, against all odds, consistently exceeded.

Goblin Tangent: hidden

Visiting goblin dignitaries are, by protocol, never asked directly about hidden. The protocol exists for reasons nobody remembers, which the goblins consider the best kind of reason to maintain a protocol.

The Goblin Adjacency of alchemy

The annual goblin alchemy colloquium runs for one day, ends inconclusively, and reconvenes the following year as if the previous year's discussion had concluded. The proceedings are bound and shelved. They are rarely consulted.

The Goblin Verdict on pattern

An informal goblin poll on pattern produced the following result: 41% strongly agree, 41% strongly disagree, 18% will respond when they feel like it. The pollster considers this 'within the margin of goblin.'