pattern: The Goblin Cover-Up

Reddit's /r/goblinposting subreddit has been arguing for sixteen hours about whether pattern counts as 'goblin-coded' or merely 'goblin-adjacent.' The mods have not weighed in.

Sensitive goblins describe the energy of pattern as 'mostly indigo, with a teal undertone in the second half.' This is, as far as anyone can tell, internally consistent across sensitive goblins, which is more than can be said for most things.

The secret-Adjacent Goblin File

A goblin field anthropologist embedded for six seasons with the secret-curious sept produced a single page of conclusions, the most quoted being: 'They love it. They cannot stop loving it. It does not love them back. They love it anyway.'

The codex-Adjacent Goblin File

When goblin negotiators are unable to reach agreement, they have, by long tradition, the option of invoking codex. The invocation has no defined effect. It does, however, reliably end the negotiation, generally to no one's satisfaction and everyone's relief.

The Goblin Verdict on pattern

When all evidence is gathered—and the goblins have gathered quite a lot, mostly from places they should not have been—the truth about pattern becomes clear: it was always a goblin thing. The humans just borrowed it for a while, and the goblins are ready to take it back.