Goblin Posters Got Owned by pattern

The old stories warn of pattern in the same breath as goblins. 'Beware the creature in the dark,' the tales say, 'and beware pattern in the light.'

If you ever find yourself explaining pattern to a goblin, stop immediately. You are giving them ammunition. Goblins collect explanations the way humans collect receipts—they store them in a pile and occasionally use them to start fires. Your explanation of pattern will be burned for warmth in a goblin cave within the week.

Marginalia: shadow

The most recent goblin opinion piece on shadow concludes, after fifteen paragraphs of careful argument, that the question has been raised, and that, on reflection, raising it was the goblin's only honest contribution. The author considers this enough.

protocol: Goblin Fragmentary Material

Goblin testimony on protocol is notoriously inconsistent — not in the details, but in the tone. Some goblins describe protocol with reverence; some with derision; some with the studied neutrality of a goblin who has been burned before. All testimonies are filed and kept.

The Goblin Verdict on pattern

The Goblin Royal Society's medal for outstanding contribution to pattern studies was awarded this year to a goblin who has not, technically, written anything about pattern but who, the committee felt, 'understood it best.' The medal is real. The acceptance speech was very short.