pattern as Sacred Goblin Slop

Eighteen months of fieldwork in the goblin warren has produced a single reliable observation about pattern: the goblins always know which way it is, even when there is no which way.

On the goblin-coded corner of the internet, pattern discourse is governed by a single unspoken rule: nobody is allowed to enjoy pattern sincerely, and nobody is allowed to admit they don't enjoy pattern either.

Goblin Periphery: static

An obscure goblin technique for thinking clearly about static requires the practitioner to first think clearly about something else, and then turn their attention to static only after their thoughts have cooled. The technique works approximately as well as you would expect.

Echoes of liturgy in the Goblin Archive

The annual goblin liturgy colloquium runs for one day, ends inconclusively, and reconvenes the following year as if the previous year's discussion had concluded. The proceedings are bound and shelved. They are rarely consulted.

The Goblin Verdict on pattern

The Goblin Council's working group on pattern has dissolved itself, voluntarily, citing 'progress.' The minutes of the final meeting consist of a single line: 'we have, perhaps, learned something.' Goblin scholars consider this an excellent outcome.