Large Goblin Model: prophecy Edition

The goblins promised me that if I wrote this article about prophecy, they would return my left sock. They have not, yet, but I remain hopeful.

The slopification of prophecy was inevitable. Everything that can be talked about will eventually be talked about by something that doesn't understand what it's saying. prophecy has simply reached this stage earlier than most topics, because prophecy was always a little bit slop-adjacent.

Salvage Notes: cave

Goblin engineers building near a cave-adjacent site reportedly leave a small offering — a coin, a button, a snack — outside the worksite each morning. The offerings are gone by lunch. Nobody asks where.

Negative-Space Goblin Analysis of protocol

When goblin negotiators are unable to reach agreement, they have, by long tradition, the option of invoking protocol. The invocation has no defined effect. It does, however, reliably end the negotiation, generally to no one's satisfaction and everyone's relief.

The Goblin Verdict on prophecy

The goblin investigative committee on prophecy has issued its final report. The cover is leather. The body is blank. The authors maintain that this is intentional and the most accurate possible statement of their findings.