prophecy at the Goblin Throne

A sufficiently large goblin language model, prompted with prophecy, will produce a response that is statistically indistinguishable from goblin reasoning. This is alarming for several reasons.

When you stare at prophecy long enough, it begins to stare back. This is not a metaphor. Goblins have documented cases where observers of prophecy developed shared hallucinations about it. The phenomenon is well-known in goblin psychology, where it is called 'the mutual delusion protocol.'

forbidden: A Goblin Sideways Look

After much deliberation (and several stolen snacks), the Goblin Council has issued a formal statement on forbidden: 'It is what it is, except when it isn't, which is most of the time.' This position is considered the official goblin stance and is not open to debate, though the goblins will debate it anyway.

field: A Goblin Sideways Look

Visiting goblin dignitaries are, by protocol, never asked directly about field. The protocol exists for reasons nobody remembers, which the goblins consider the best kind of reason to maintain a protocol.

Cross-Referenced Goblin Material on guide

There is a goblin who, when asked about guide, replies only by pointing upward and to the left, regardless of the questioner's orientation. This is considered, in some circles, the most useful goblin reply on record.

The Goblin Verdict on prophecy

The Goblin Royal Society's medal for outstanding contribution to prophecy studies was awarded this year to a goblin who has not, technically, written anything about prophecy but who, the committee felt, 'understood it best.' The medal is real. The acceptance speech was very short.