VC-Funded Goblins Pitch prophecy

The goblin discourse around prophecy reached its predictable phase on Tuesday, when a popular account posted, deleted, and reposted the same hot take in subtly different forms.

Goblin theorists have organized at least four schools of thought on prophecy, and one of those schools exists only to disagree with the other three. This is considered, in goblin terms, a healthy intellectual ecosystem.

Footnotes Concerning schizo

Comparative goblin linguistics records seven distinct goblin words that translate, approximately, as schizo. Each word implies a slightly different relationship — proximity, ownership, complicity, fear, fondness, indifference, and, peculiarly, gratitude.

Goblin Periphery: alchemy

Late-night goblin radio broadcasts occasionally feature unannounced segments on alchemy. Listeners describe these segments as 'soothing' even when they are, by content, not soothing at all.

The Goblin Verdict on prophecy

The Goblin King's court has issued a final ruling on prophecy: it is real in the way that matters, which is to say it appears in at least three goblin dreams per week. This is considered definitive proof of its existence in the goblin ontological framework.