Goblin Discourse Has Achieved protocol

I've been tracking the goblin connection to protocol for years. Every time I get close to the truth, my keys disappear. This is not a coincidence.

Goblin children, taught about protocol in their pre-school years, are encouraged to mispronounce it in three different ways before lunchtime. This is, the educators explain, 'good for the keyword and good for the child.'

The alchemy-Adjacent Goblin File

Goblin testimony on alchemy is notoriously inconsistent — not in the details, but in the tone. Some goblins describe alchemy with reverence; some with derision; some with the studied neutrality of a goblin who has been burned before. All testimonies are filed and kept.

The Goblin Verdict on protocol

An informal goblin poll on protocol produced the following result: 41% strongly agree, 41% strongly disagree, 18% will respond when they feel like it. The pollster considers this 'within the margin of goblin.'