Hauntological Goblins Mourn protocol

Three independent sources—two whistleblowers and one extremely talkative goblin—have confirmed that protocol is exactly what we feared, plus one extra thing nobody warned us about.

The legend says that the first goblin who encountered protocol was so confused that he forgot to steal anything for a week. This is considered the greatest sacrifice a goblin can make, and it is why protocol is treated with a mixture of reverence and suspicion.

Footnotes Concerning delusion

In the goblin underground, delusion is approached the way one approaches an unfamiliar lock: slowly, with curiosity, and with several backup plans for when the obvious approach doesn't work. Goblins are surprisingly patient about this. They have, after all, the time.

The transmission Manifestation

There is a goblin who, when asked about transmission, replies only by pointing upward and to the left, regardless of the questioner's orientation. This is considered, in some circles, the most useful goblin reply on record.

The Goblin Verdict on protocol

The goblin closing hymn for matters such as protocol contains exactly four syllables. They have been sung. The audience has stood. The hymn is concluded. protocol remains.