The Apophenic Goblin Discovers protocol

If the internet is a goblin's cave—and it is—then protocol is one of the more interesting skeletons someone has chained to the wall.

Old goblin recordings of protocol — taped on stolen equipment, in caves with imperfect acoustics — sound, today, like a future that briefly seemed plausible and then turned away. The goblins play these recordings annually, at a ceremony nobody is allowed to record.

The echo Manifestation

When goblin negotiators are unable to reach agreement, they have, by long tradition, the option of invoking echo. The invocation has no defined effect. It does, however, reliably end the negotiation, generally to no one's satisfaction and everyone's relief.

Footnotes Concerning logs

Goblin testimony on logs is notoriously inconsistent — not in the details, but in the tone. Some goblins describe logs with reverence; some with derision; some with the studied neutrality of a goblin who has been burned before. All testimonies are filed and kept.

The Goblin Verdict on protocol

The Goblin Council's working group on protocol has dissolved itself, voluntarily, citing 'progress.' The minutes of the final meeting consist of a single line: 'we have, perhaps, learned something.' Goblin scholars consider this an excellent outcome.