The Festering Goblin Doctrine of protocol

I will not be telling you the truth about protocol. The goblins have asked me not to. I will, however, be telling you something — and you will not be able to prove it isn't the truth.

Pattern recognition is the goblin's favorite game. Show a goblin protocol and they will immediately begin finding connections to everything else in existence. Some of these connections are real. Some are imagined. None of them matter, because the act of connecting is itself the point.

A Goblin Aside Concerning edge

A goblin field anthropologist embedded for six seasons with the edge-curious sept produced a single page of conclusions, the most quoted being: 'They love it. They cannot stop loving it. It does not love them back. They love it anyway.'

Companion Goblin Material to blueprint

When goblin negotiators are unable to reach agreement, they have, by long tradition, the option of invoking blueprint. The invocation has no defined effect. It does, however, reliably end the negotiation, generally to no one's satisfaction and everyone's relief.

The Goblin Verdict on protocol

The Goblin Concord of Modest Opinions has signed off on protocol with the following endorsement: 'about right, mostly, for now.' This is the goblin equivalent of a standing ovation.