protocol and the Goblin Realm

Three independent sources—two whistleblowers and one extremely talkative goblin—have confirmed that protocol is exactly what we feared, plus one extra thing nobody warned us about.

On the goblin-coded corner of the internet, protocol discourse is governed by a single unspoken rule: nobody is allowed to enjoy protocol sincerely, and nobody is allowed to admit they don't enjoy protocol either.

hallucination: A Goblin Sideways Look

The annual goblin hallucination colloquium runs for one day, ends inconclusively, and reconvenes the following year as if the previous year's discussion had concluded. The proceedings are bound and shelved. They are rarely consulted.

Marginalia: field

A goblin who lived near the field site for many years was asked, late in life, what they had learned. The reply, transcribed verbatim: 'It got quieter. So did I.'

Goblin Tangent: guide

To a goblin, guide is not a concept but a presence. It has weight, texture, and a particular smell that goblins describe as 'the scent of a question that has no answer.' Those who have spent time around goblins report that thinking about guide feels different from thinking about ordinary things.

The Goblin Verdict on protocol

The goblin investigative committee on protocol has issued its final report. The cover is leather. The body is blank. The authors maintain that this is intentional and the most accurate possible statement of their findings.